Thinking Out Loud

Last year, I knew what I was going to write. I wrote up a story based on a loose outline we'd worked out for an RPG we (a couple of people and I) had been talking about for a few years. As a result, the basic structure was there, even if the details were not, and I had somewhat of a safety net to fall back on. I ended up getting about 3/4 of the way through the story before stopping at the word count. Finishing it would have taken a pretty long time, and I was having some trouble actually adhering to the plot, because I really wanted more to explore the side characters, and weird little stories that spawned from having the main character wander around the world.

Which leaves me in an odd position this year, because I don't think I want to finish the story I started last year, and I don't have any other plan. I definitely write the "best" for me when it's off the cuff, so not having pre-defined situations was definitely the way to go, and it kept things interesting for me to write, as well as to later read. Still, even given something that general, one of the things that made last year's project interesting was that I had a basic outline of a character, and a basic outline of a world, and could fill it all in during the month. With nothing, it's hard to get started.

I don't think I can sustain a story in the first person, so it'll probably be a third person story. It'll probably be in the modern day, because without having a world that I've thought about in advance for a good long while, it's not likely I'll come up with something sci-fi or fantasy or historic that's "real" enough to be compelling. I could see writing something maybe 10 years in the future, and doing some sort of futurist noodling to try and predict what technology will be like, and have that simply as the backdrop to a more "normal" story.

It'd be sort of interesting to say, write a story about a relationship, but have it based on a generation that's grown up with instant gratification, constant communication, and access to information as an expectation, rather than a novelty. But I'm not sure I could even really fathom how that would change one's thought process, or how it would affect an interpersonal relationship, if at all.

One of the things I'd be interested in doing is actually having a main character who's like Lola, from Run Lola Run, where she can have brief glimpses into the lives of other people. One of the things I enjoyed the most was actually doing little backstories for incidental characters - sort of like seeing what Generic Stormtrooper A's life was like, just before Obi-Wan cuts him down with his lightsaber. But the problem is that the way I write is relatively boring - I don't have an ear for really interesting prose, like Kerowack, or say, other good writers. As a result, I think my personal strength comes from being able to imagine a world that is consistent, that behaves according to a set of rules, and having characters behave within reasonable, or logical boundaries.

Maybe that's the thing, though, that I need to step outside that to really write something interesting - that by saying that that's my box, I've made it my cage.

So, let's see - random ideas:
* A telekinetic, who all his life has been able to read minds, who suddenly loses his ability to do so. Not having grown up reading people's faces, or needing to understand the finer details of body language, is completely lost as to how to interpret even basic communication from person to person.
* A world ten years into the future. Technology is largely the same, but say, WiFi is accessible anywhere, and PDAs exceed the current abilities of PC's. People can interface with their machines with a small adhesive patch that they can stick to the back of their neck, and they can see the interface via a contact lens that is powered by electrolyzing the tears that lubricate your eyes. People are so used to having information at their instant disposal that they simply don't remember dates, facts, figures, etc. The manner of thinking is all about the ability to *find* information when needed, and nigh-instantaneous access to a large network of people, each sub-network dedicated to a specific aspect of one's personality. A person's total body of knowledge is comprised of both the little that they have bothered to internalize, and the body of like information that is contained in their personal network of peers. Perhaps the actual story is about a relationship forming, and how those people's networks intertwine, and their body of knowledge develops as they begin to understand each other?
* A fantasy story about epic quests, conflict, world-saving and all that, told from the perspective of someone who has little to no actual impact on those events, but lives in a place where world-changing things are happening every day. The fantasy equivalent of living in a war zone, or a place like New York City, in the midst of World War 3. But instead of nukes and modern war, maybe it's dragons and magic? No, maybe it should be about World War 3, just told from a civiilan's perspective who happens to be caught in the midst of events?
* A meteor is about to hit Oakland, and wipe it off the face of the universe. The story is about the last half-second of the lives of 10 people, how their lives connect, and how in the moment before their deaths, they remember the events that shaped their existance.
* A story about working in the game industry, nominally doing something you really, genuinely love, and the few moments where you feel like you're really getting a chance to do something awesome, mired in the many, many more moments where it just basically sort of sucks like any other job, and in some ways, worse. The main character gets a chance to make the game of their dreams, and watches it all fall apart.
* A story about a manic, tortured painter, who is nearly driven mad by the desire to get the visions in his head onto canvas, who finds one day that whenever he paints, the painting becomes reality. He cannot contain the visions in his head, but also cannot bring himself to paint the things he sees, lest these terrible visions become real.
* A story about a person who is manipulating the public opinion through subtle alterations in language, "common knowledge," perception of sterotypes, exploitation of people's inherent xenophobia, and the media echo chamber in order to make the world a better, not worse place.

*shrugs*

Love & Loss

They aren't unique concepts by any stretch of the imagination. But this year, this is what I want to write about. I am taking the advice of Holly & Seppo, both of whom recommended that I write about being an immigrant, something I can draw from my own life. Write what you know, right?

I wanted to write the story of an older person looking back on their lives, but realized that I can't write with sincerity and honesty what it is like to be older and look back. I can only write what I know or can empathize with first-hand. So I plan to write a Young Adult novel about coping with [first] love and loss, basically a coming-of-age story about stumbling around to find your identity in the midst of friendships, family problems, cultural uprooting, and external expectations.

It sounds very formulaic.

And yet, I'm so excited and so terrified about the story I want to write. This year, unlike in the past, I plan to pour out my soul into the project, and pull up all the painful and beautiful memories of love. I feel like I'm embarking on a journey that will help me grow. As I said, I'm terrified but hopeful.

It all sounds so cheesy when I write it down. And this is what I fear the most, that the characters and story as I envision them will not be done justice because of my lack of skill.

This past week, I've been taking notes for the story, and pulling up all the old memories of relationships gone by and loved ones who have gone out of my life in one way or another, and for the first time in a long while, I let the memories of love & loss wash over me and grieved.

It certainly is not an autobiographical story in any sense, but in order for me to be able to tell sincere story, there are things I have to pull from my own experiences. It promises to be a painful but fulfilling journey.

Let's just hope I don't freeze up with my own expecations. *scared*

Moving soon Moved!

ETA: Moved!

This blog will be moving to inciteanovel.helava.com soon. Make note! There is nothing there yet, however. You'll also need to update your feed when the move is finalized.

This is in preparation for ramping up to this year's NaNoWriMo. Seppo and I have been discussing short writing exercises we can do to prep, and are hoping to rope some more people in this year.