Love & Loss

They aren't unique concepts by any stretch of the imagination. But this year, this is what I want to write about. I am taking the advice of Holly & Seppo, both of whom recommended that I write about being an immigrant, something I can draw from my own life. Write what you know, right?

I wanted to write the story of an older person looking back on their lives, but realized that I can't write with sincerity and honesty what it is like to be older and look back. I can only write what I know or can empathize with first-hand. So I plan to write a Young Adult novel about coping with [first] love and loss, basically a coming-of-age story about stumbling around to find your identity in the midst of friendships, family problems, cultural uprooting, and external expectations.

It sounds very formulaic.

And yet, I'm so excited and so terrified about the story I want to write. This year, unlike in the past, I plan to pour out my soul into the project, and pull up all the painful and beautiful memories of love. I feel like I'm embarking on a journey that will help me grow. As I said, I'm terrified but hopeful.

It all sounds so cheesy when I write it down. And this is what I fear the most, that the characters and story as I envision them will not be done justice because of my lack of skill.

This past week, I've been taking notes for the story, and pulling up all the old memories of relationships gone by and loved ones who have gone out of my life in one way or another, and for the first time in a long while, I let the memories of love & loss wash over me and grieved.

It certainly is not an autobiographical story in any sense, but in order for me to be able to tell sincere story, there are things I have to pull from my own experiences. It promises to be a painful but fulfilling journey.

Let's just hope I don't freeze up with my own expecations. *scared*